This week, tell us about a place that has helped shape who you are.
Ideas shape the course of History.
John M. Keynes
No, I am not talking about a breakup, at least not that one you probably are thinking. It is not a separation from someone but is a separation nevertheless. An emotional, mind and heart one.
I am talking about the ideas we have in our heads and let slip away, for a lot of different motives, of course, there are always plenty of them: because we want to do some research on the internet, we want to read books about it, we procrastinate, we invented last minute tasks, we want to find the relevancy of the idea, and the truth is, we lose the connection with our heart, our intuition and the ability to think for ourselves. We refuse to hear what we ourselves want to say.
I don´t know if that has happened to you, to me it has, and if there are some conclusions I can take from this already dying year is that 24 hours is the time all of us have, some of us use it well, some use it badly, and the idea that is not written and developed as soon as possible is, most probably, forever lost. I can´t tell you how many drafts I have my blog and other things I am not very happy about and too ashamed to share.
My Morning Pages, that I write every day, every single day, exactly at the same hour, at exactly the same place, without exception, are the only writing I have made for awhile. After some time when I tried to do them differently things haven´t worked at all. It only works this way. At least for me.
I am writing the Morning Pages and following these rituals for more than a month. Everything. Up to the same pen. Surprisingly to me it is working very well. and I guess it´s a habit that I created successfully. Now, the day does not begin well if I don´t write them. Well, the thing with a new habit is…we have to find a way to keep it, otherwise we go back to the start :). The resistance we feel in the beginning dissipates overtime and it gets easier, but if we are a little bit distracted, we loose want we gained and have to start all over again.
I hope to do the same with the ideas that come to my mind. Probably I will apply a different ritual from the one I do with Morning Pages or maybe not, after all, writing three pages on an idea won´t be that bad.
What I think is important is connect to our hearts, our intuition and what it says to us after all that is all that matters! Looking around for what others have done on the same things and ideas will increase our insecurity and will be a distraction of our own voice. That is the one we are looking forward to hearing and not let it slip away, who knows where they could take us?
Emotions are like children, you don´t ever stuff them in the trunk, but you certainly don´t want to let them drive the car.
It was the end of a long day.
Last week I have been with a gallbladder crisis that left me feeling really tired, I also delivered a book translation on time, and have done little of my housework. It happens I have plans for my home, to make it more cozy and comfortable this winter, a place where I look forward to going to at the end of each day. A clean and organized home is an efficient one.
And this rambling thinking is typical of me at the end of each work delivery: to look around at the mess that was created by neglect. In the hurry and rush of modern life is good to know that at the end of the day there is a tranquility oasis waiting for us. One where we can run away to, where we can hide from the world.
I come home, at the end of each day, and think about everything I have to do there. And that upsets my soul and the quality of my leisure as deep down inside I have to know that everything is in its place. I don´t know if I have control issues…hope not, but one thing is certain, I feel an unmeasured need to reduce to the maximum the visual noise around me. I don´t get along with the chaos, even though I know there is order in it.
Yes, I´ve read Marie Kondo. I discovered her last year when I was almost beginning my summer vacations. I remember having discovered Marie Forleo around that time too. Both focused on subjects I had long thought about but hadn´t talk about with anyone. It was good to know I was not alone. God noticed my doubts and unanswered questions and send them. I was so happy with the discovery that it became the best summer ever. I even called it Marie´s summer. It´s good to find people that understand us, regardless they live on the other side of the world.
It took me another summer (last summer) to get to the conclusion that housework does not rhyme with summer vacations. We don´t get to do the work and we ruin the vacations. There is only hot and sweat and then there is the saying, live and learn.
So this sunny November weekend, after a month and a half of working in translating a lovely book (a work done at night and on the weekends) I decided to focus on my apparent caos. Sunday. All day! By the end of the afternoon, I stopped feeling my legs. I completed the task at hand and decided to take a foaming bath and do nothing more.
Exactly at the moment I was putting one of my legs in the water and was beginning to feel the soothing effects of the hot water on my muscles my cell phone rang. I had no idea who it was, was completely exhausted and drained, and the hot and sweet ambiance being given by the bath appealed to me greatly.
I said to myself no, not now, the world can wait.