I hope you´re having a good week. This past couple of days I have been thinking about the setbacks in my life and how they have impacted the person I am today. Maybe, it is time to make a balance.
Setbacks are no strange to me, and I believe that for nobody also. I never have known anyone who hasn´t had them in their lives.
At that time, I felt completely safe in my world and felt that was the way it was supposed to be. One day, it all happened very quickly. And after that day, nothing was the same in my life, and nothing would ever be.
I had no idea whatsoever how to cope with life setbacks, and the pain was almost unbearable. I remember a particular devastating setback, a family problem. That means that the situation was not limited to me only, it spread to everyone in my small nuclear family. If this was a contagious disease, we were all infected. Looking around me, no one in my family knew how to cope with a situation that size. I saw everyone crumbling around me, and I was the only one still standing, at least physically I was standing, but I felt destroyed inside. From then on I often I felt like a damaged good.
I had a hard time dealing with this situation. And when I mean a lot of time, I really mean some years.
I wasn´t the least prepared for life twists, turns and setbacks. They came unannounced, often entered my house and my life by the back door, slowly. I am talking about circumstances in which you find yourself involved by others, who are close to you. You trust. It is supposed for you to trust, it´s family and you would suppose that these people would do their very best, and would give the very best of themselves for your life, and would invest in you, not take from you.
Life is not perfect. Sometimes those who put you on this world should love and cherish you, are the ones that betray you, and even mock of you, particularly if you grow up very different from them. Sorry, but there is no support net for you.
Your friends might think you are making sorry of yourself, and complaining, when from their outside point of view everything seems to be going fine, and you have no reasons to complain. So, you stop talking about what upsets you.
I do not intend to complain, I am sharing with my life experience.
The statement I want to make is that life is unpredictable, people are unpredictable, and we have to walk the paths of life with wisdom, and keep coping strategies for whatever comes our way. And we should never, ever, bury our emotions. That poisons us.
Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.
And I know first-hand that this is true.
It is a must to learn to deal with disappointments and setbacks, otherwise you will be left to glue the pieces of what was left of your life, without the glue…you are afraid, you don´t see the big picture, what will come next…
Ten years have gone by, and I can say that one day the storm ends, and the sun glows again. Along the way, there were people that made all the difference in restoring me, there was God, with me all the way, even when I didn´t recognize Him, guiding me, to people, to important books.
Now I appreciate my setbacks. I am glad they happened. We grow up tremendously when life doesn´t exactly go like we would like and we are forced to make some detours. The landscape transforms itself greatly and we begin to see everything with new eyes.
Setbacks influence greatly our work, our writing. At the end of it all our personal experience can only enrich whatever we choose to do.
We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.